_Sky:

I am glad to see you and Perna try out the five parts of your problem. You did well...I'll comment a little.

1. The behavior is often the problem...but knowing the unwanted behavior doesn't help you change much. You could write down the desired behavior, I suppose. Thought-stopping might cut off the worries and let you relax.

2. Yes, lying awake when you want to sleep is frustrating. And worry and irritation keep you awake, so emotions are innertwined with the behavior (not sleeping). You might want to start thinking about how to change these emotions, for instance get up and do something for a while, maybe exercise, meditate (as you suggested), write about your thoughts, or just read a good book until you fall back to sleep.

3. Learning new skills could help--self-hypnosis or other ways to relax, besides meditation (which usually is good). See insomnia in my Ch 5.

4. Our thoughts are always important. I agree with your ideas about avoiding mental stress so you can rest. But physical factors can keep us awake, e.g. pain (as you mention--do you have pain meds?) and mental processes (e.g. ADHD, Bipolar and so on). You mention being alone in 5 but that is no an unconscious thougth, so I'd put that in part 4. And I'd focus on making detailed plans over days or weeks so that you don't keep worrying "oh, what am I going to do about being alone." It is very comforting to have a careful plan.

5. Your comment about unconscious factors is a good one: "if they are unconscious, how can I know them?" My answer is you can guess what your unconscious might be trying to do...or you can read about other people's unconscious motives or just look for possible causes of something that is happening to you, such as what payoffs could the pain be trying to give me? or is my aloneness trying to tell me something or get me to do something? Keep in mind the unconscious has to be unpleasant for you to think about--otherwise, it would be conscious, right? So the pain or the loneliness may be punishment for something...or encouragement to do something that the unconscious wants you shouldn't do.

Much of this is speculation but that is OK if we are comfortable doing it and if the ideas lead to our feeling better, sleeping better, being less lonely.

We will see if this makes sense and helps.

drclay