First and foremost in my opinion, and you need to talk to her about this is private and make a consensus on this point if absolutely nothing else....DO NOT fight anymore in front of your daughter. You (meaning both of you) are going to cause your daughter to have nightmares and her own MH issues when she gets older. Some of my worst memories are of my parents fighting. Kids internalize things, will automatically blame themselves for your anger, your separation. No matter what problems you have with your ex, spare your daughter from it......

This didn't really answer your question, I know, but sparing the feelings of your child should come before all else....