Ahhh, that's right - I didn't update the post.

I updated on another post, so I'm just going to copy and paste it.

It went ok, she just seems a lot more formal now that she used to be with me. Still very nice and caring , but she doesn't seem the "same". I'm not exactly sure what's going on, I feel like maybe she got "too comfortable" and realized that she had to bring it back to a more professional level or something. I don't know, I still really like her, but I miss the way she "used to be."

Anyway though...here's how the session went (Copy and pasted from an update I made on another thread)



Hey gang. Well, I did it. Sorta. I decided that I didn't want to apologize for my feelings, because they are valid (no matter how "off" they are) and therapy is the place to show those feelings. I did however decide I wanted to speak to her about the way I acted and tell her exactly how I was feeling at the time (big step for me, I have major vulnerability/trust issues.) I started by saying "I'd like to retract some of the statements I made during our last session." She kinda laughed and said "ok". I said "First of all, I want to tell you that I admire you, and I have a great deal of respect for what you do here. I do not think you're a phony. I'm just dealing with some insecurities about therapy and the things I said were my defense mechanisms showing. I really felt like I acted like a n asshole. I know I'm not supposed to worry about hurting your feelings, or offending you - but that is BS to me. In any relationship (no matter how restricted it may be) I would be concerned if I felt like I was offending someone, or hurting their feelings in some way. I DO need you, and I promise to try a little harder to be more open and honest with you, after all...that is why I've been coming here for over a year. I'm not apologizing for my feelings, but I am apologizing for the way I expressed them, I really wasn't being fair." She didn't really say much. She wanted to know what I thought the worst part was, like which part made me think I was being an "asshole". And she just kinda shook her head and said "Ok." Later on she said "Obviously , those feelings were important, because we've talked about it more than once" I said "Yes, I do think it was important we discussed it (again) but I do not think I needed to word some of the things the way I did." And again, she just sorta shook her head and looked at me. I dunno, I'm glad I got it off my chest. I feel better, sorta. I spent the entire drive home from therapy in tears...but that will be a whole other thread.