can I ask you something Spirit?

i totally agree that she / you / everyone around must protect the daughter from these scenes.
by the way i hope you both talked to the girl about it and trying to clear that up as much as you can.

my question is: can't you just think and say 'yeahyeahyeah' and not attach any importance to the things she said.
you know, in some very wrong way she maybe sees that all these yelling takes you back into the relationship with her. Even if for the worst part of it, but she can 'feel' for few minutes that you are together again, even only in fighting.

do you think this could fit?