i dont really have friends, but sometimes they do contact me, old friends, we talked, share things. I've been really depressed these days, even worse than what i've been to before. Sometimes my conversation with them involved my problems, eventually.

As a normal people, they are nice and helpful. But they cant understand what i really feel, not even close. What i'm going through, what i've been through for years. They can only encourage me, suggest me to do this and that, i know "there is nothing that we cant do in this life", but everything in my life is seems impossible at the moment. Its not about depression anymore, but now its also about my whole life & everything around me.

I feel like no one can understand me anymore, except for people in this forum. I have nowhere to go, nothing that i can do, i want to talk about my problems but sometimes i dont want to talk about it anymore, i'm tired and fed up with it.

I'm trying to hold on every single day, i feel like i'm going crazy, too much problems in my head. Everyday i'm surrounded with depression, sadness & anger. So tired with it. Everytime i feel depressed, i told myself, i want this pain to go away, but its never go away, i'm getting tired hoping this pain will go away someday, unfortunately "they" here to stay.

Again, i know you can understand my feelings. Thanks for reading.