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But why now, when I'm in my mid-50s and life is supposed to be more settled than this? And could this anxiety be a new manifestation of my BP, or something new entirely? I am SO SICK of this......everytime I get straightened out and reach something approaching stability, something has to hit the fan and F it all up. 
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Holy crap I could have written this word for word. It is what I feel like I'm going through, just when I think things are good, something comes up, I start having anxiety and stress and it just makes things worse. I keep trying breathing but it doesn't always help. I can't talk about it with people at work and I just don't have too many friends here (I moved from IA to TX about a year ago). I'd like to see my therapist more often (every 3 weeks right now) but I can't get more time off to do so. I am thinking that maybe, just maybe I need to see my pc doc and change or do something else, because its just not working.