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Originally Posted by Glass is Half Full
I am hoping for some helpful, honest feedback from others who have kids...but especially daughters with ADHD. Seems it is more difficult in our society for a girl who is hyperactive than a " good 'ol rough and tumble" boy.
My husband and I are really struggling right now with our 8-yr old daughter. She is smart as a whip, so that is one blessing that we're at least not struggling with school work and grades, but she is like a tornado of energy and defiance.... Like a combination of a fit-throwing toddler (morning meltdowns and evening screeching, arguing, complaining....basically extreme emotion a good bit of the time) and an attitude-y teen all packaged in this talented but frustrating second grader. She can be wonderful and happy sometimes, so I see glimpses of hope..cooperation...compassion...patience....respect....but more often than not we're getting after her for something or other and she's pushing back and displaying a defiant or upset emotion.
She takes 15mg. Of Focalin XR and that makes a difference during the school day but evenings are a challenge, and we have sports and church activities to get through during much of the week.
Would really, really appreciate any thoughts, advice, anyone who has been there, done that and can give me some solid parenting advice. The "normal" strategies have limited success, and both my husband and I are in professions that deal with kids, discipline, and management. You'd think this ONE child wouldn't have us both at our wits' end, and on the verge of some serious anxiety.
Could really use some prayers, and some practical guidance please!!
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I can really identify with your post. You asked for info about daughters, and I can't help there. I do have an 11 year old son with ADD though.
He's someone who can be extremely volatile. Over the years, I have learned that he responds much more positively to my patience and understanding vs. me having "normal" parental expectations.
My son is very smart, too. He is gifted in verbal subjects in school and will use his gifts to argue his "case".
I am no expert, but I really do think he is not capable of remembering to do simple, routine thing that others can do - for example cleaning his room, brushing his teeth, etc. We use checklists and charts for everything. Part of his problem is that he often feels that he doesn't understand directions. Simplifying expectations and putting them in writing really help, because he will sometimes forget or differently interpret what was asked of him.
Consequences are the same. We write contracts with each other, and stipulate the consequences of not following agreements. This makes discipline extremely effective when the rules are in black and white, in advance.
Of course, my son still become upset if he does not live up to his agreement, but not to the extreme degrees that he did before. I hope this helps, if even a litte.
Best wishes!