Syra -- I was more so at a point of frustration. With this T she always had me running in circles and it was like whatever I said she just didn't seem to understand. So I finally gave up because I just didn't have the right words to help her understand me.

Stopdog--I am OK. I WAS REALLY revved up when I left and whoever was in my path unfortunately got the brunt of it. Now that I am home I am still revved up, but at least no one is around to receive my wrath.

BonnieJean - Yes, after 3 years I've finally realized we are a mismatch. I held on thinking that one day something would click and didn't. It also doesn't help that she is an hours drive away, so I was only able to see her every 2 weeks. I just couldn't click with her.

Kali - I think I am going to make a follow up appointment for another chat with the new T. I don't know if I should tell her about how things ended with my old T. I really don't know what I would discuss with her. I guess I have to think about that. I do want to ask her about her approach to working with me. One thing I would really love to work on is how to identify my feelings because I have a really hard time with and old T didn't really help in that department.

Lifelike - Yes she is CBT oriented for sure. And I guess that method isn't working with/for me and it has become very frustrating. When I talked to my potential new T, she said sometimes just changing your behavior/thoughts isn't enough if you want to feel a deeper change.

ShineyThings - T said that unless I provided her with evidence as to why I have anxiety about certain things then essentially they are not valid fears and she can't understand why I have them--to mean that just means they aren't real. I honestly don't understand these anxieties myself so I can't back them up--they are just there. And its not even anxieties, it's feeling that I'm not good enough and that I'm worthless and broken. How do I change those thoughts? I can't even give her evidence to support those thoughts. I have been carrying them for so long--they didn't just pop up over the last few years. I've had them since childhood. And and at the same time I can't throw them out the window or dismiss them and move on. It's like they are in my DNA or something. IDK I am so confused.

Thanks for all of the feedback everyone! I really appreciate it. I was on the verge of tears all day but kept stopping myself. it was like no matter how hard I tried I could get through to her. I'm glad I finally gave up trying. There was no winning with her.