I don't think that you "need to forgive" in order to take some of the intensity out of the experience. I think you can learn to 'wish this had never happened' or 'I'm glad that I'm through that', 'thank goodness that is over', etc.. or other ways to frame it so that it is something you are moving away from, something that isn't happening anymore.

Grieving takes time and each movement feels a little better.