Leed,
Thanks so much for your response and understanding. I don't get that anywhere but here. So, I really appreciate this.
I wish I could believe that I was just as good, adequate enough, worthy, etc. I do try to, and sometimes I even manage to think these positive thoughts, but it's short lived. Therapy may help, I don't know. I don't have one at the moment, and don't know when I will be able to get one. My life is chaotic right now, and I just don't think therapy will do me any good if I go in like I am. I am in such a low place that I'm not sure I even deserve the help, as I'm afraid it will be just like everything else in my life, a failure. It sometimes seems like I can't get better.
Oh, and I think that everyone here does a wonderful job at being supportive, understanding people. I can say that I have received some great advice from everyone who has responded to me, including you. I really appreciate everyone's time and effort they put into responding.
Well, again, thanks for your support, and I will give therapy some thought and see how I can maybe get it started.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leed
Dearest Shelley ~ I can understand how you FEEL, but honey you do NOT DESERVE all those things! NO ONE DOES!! What child deserves to be abused? Children are innocent. Children do NOT deserve to be sexually or physically abused!!! The thought of that is HORRIBLE. And the fact that you were NOT protected from that makes my skin crawl. 
You are NOT inadequate! You are just as worthy and deserving as anyone else on earth, my friend. You are just as GOOD as anyone else on earth. Whoever put these thoughts into your head should be shot.
I wish I had you here, as you need some hugs!!! Who told you your feelings are infantile? They ARE NOT! You are NOT whining!! These are your feelings and they are legitimate!
You can't be done trying sweetie. We are here to HELP. We're not going to stop trying to help.  Maybe we aren't doing a good job, but we'll keep trying. If you're not in therapy, you need to get there! You DO NEED A THERAPIST. Is there any way you can get into therapy Shelley? It's really important --- I hope you can. We'll still be here for you. You can bet on that.
But try to find a good therapist, sweetie. God bless. Hugs, Lee  |