Hamster - Thank you for this comment. I was wondering why I was uncomfortable with that part of the response and you have nailed it. I do not want to wait around being miserable in the hopes that maybe H will consider and then actually follow through on attempting to achieve recovery. I'm middle aged already and we've been married 10 years. The past 15 months of which I have been discussing this issue with him (H) and telling him I would leave if the situation didn't improve.

Interesting anecdote that says a lot about his desire/ability to honor and respect me. I don't think I've posted it already, but forgive me if I did. It's short.

About a month ago, H asked me why I wouldn't consider marriage counseling. I said we had already been to 3 MCs. He said, "well, I didn't know that we were going to try to save our marriage" [Bub's thought here: um, WTH did you think we were going for?!] But there's no point in being inflamatory so I didn't say that. We then discussed that yes, that was indeed the purpose of the MC, and I gave a brief timeline of how we wound up in MC at all. H said he understood and was sorry he didn't know that at the time.

So, after that discussion, we were all clear - he knew what my issues were and that things were perilously close to the end. And one week later he gave me the "avail myself of your services" speech and sodomized me against my will.

At that point, I realized that he either cannot or will not honor and respect me. It becomes my final straw. And to again confirm Hamster's statement, I just don't want to wait around hoping for a miracle anymore. I truly believe in miracles and certainly pray for them in this case but I'm not willing to wait for it anymore. If through divine intervention and/or significant work on H's part, H can embrace a new lifestyle, he will make some other woman very happy. He has many good qualities of course - I've only listed the bad ones - and has the potential to be an amazing H.