My pastor at the time of separation said it was his job as a representative of the church to keep marriages together. H stayed there and I moved on. Next pastor said, when H came to his door "to tell the pastor to force me to go back to him" with his huge Bible under his hand, he knew right away that H was pretty st*p*d. He didn't use the term often - but did call a spade a spade and abuse, abuse.