I do not know the full story or H background.

Maybe a separation is needed for both of you. It could be temporary or a set time.

Once the separation is done and you live in separate homes, try counseling again. We often see life different when away from the situation. H probably doesn't believe you'll ever leave, thus he will never try to change.

Many pastors will agree with separation vs divorce as a first step.

Prayers to you.