I haven't been on here in quite some time but I was a regular for a while.

When I grew up I had a very abusive childhood from SA, EA, PA, and basically any kind of abuse thought of. I was a target and it was bad.

I had my first "blackout" during one of my most traumatic events when I was 5. Just 3 short weeks after a severe accident when I hit my head. I had many other blackouts throughout my life, a lot of them revolving around high stress times. I would also say things unlike me and sometimes repeat them when I would have blackouts. The doctors diagnosed me with MPD almost 12 years ago.

But in 2011 I started having seizures. The therapist and pdoc assumed these were psuedo seizures (non epileptic seizures) and could be controlled with therapy. They were convinced I had DID and not epilepsy.

But Tuesday I was officially diagnosed with epilepsy. I saw a neurologist who thought they were epileptic seizures so he ordered an EEG, which proved epilepsy. It's sad and I am confused. I'm not the person I spent the last 12 years thinking I was.

So I don't have DID, I have epilepsy. My "spells" and blackouts are related to epilepsy and not DID. To be quite honest, I was somehow for some reason hoping it was DID, DID is curable and manageable. Epilepsy can be managed but without brain surgery can not be cured. I will be on medication for the remainder of my life.

I spent 12 years thinking I had DID, but I don't. But in those 12 years I've learned so much about DID and so much about "parts" and I am thankful for that. I've became great friends with people with DID and they are wonderful people. I have learned so much from all of you and I want to say thank you. It's amazing how great the mind is and to what length it will go to protect itself. It's amazing how strong each and every one of you are. My heart goes out to each and every one of you and I hope you find peace and happiness in your life. Take care and see ya later!