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My symptoms are, broadly: Very serious and almost chronic atypical depression (I smile and laugh, so people think I'm fine, but I'm not really) that is incapacitating me. Most days I don't get out of bed other than to have a couple of cigarettes, coffee and one meal. I have rapid cycling which also tires me out , and have difficulties staying away from drugs when I'm hypo (which isn't that often, maybe > a day each week at the moment). I need to be left alone physically and I'm not intimate with my bf and I do not like to be hugged or touched. I have serious attachment issues & feelings of detachment and I'm very dependent on other people to function. When I make decisions on my own I often choose at random. Usually I just avoid all decisions and do nothing. I used to be very decisive and sure, and didn't mind physical contact or emotional bonding like I do now.
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I could not have said this better. I feel like this is very close to my situation, but I have no diagnosis, no treatment, and no motivation to fix it. I made a post on here, just asking for advice. "new to this, looking for advice" But yeah. I just wanted to I guess say thank you for sharing this, and I really look forward to reading more posts from you. I would love to hear how you are dealing with everything. I feel the same way as you do about making decisions. I either ask my only good friend, or my parents. If neither of them will help me make the decision, then I avoid it until it gets made for me. Eventually the opportunity expires, or something has to be done. Either way, I rarely make a decision. I think that indecisiveness is part of the reason I haven't just gone to a doctor yet. I've been feelin so ****** for so long, yet am not doing anything about it. It frustrates me. But yet I continue to do nothing. I feel lazy, but then I just don't care. It seems easier to stay the same, then it does to try to change.
Anyhow, just yeah, I was very excited to see that someone on here feels very similar to what I do. I just felt the need to share that with you. Thanks again for this post. Made me feel a little less alone. If that makes sense