(((Alice))) I've been there, been through this with my 17 yr old son since he was 11... Looking back, I don't agree with much of the advice from the bulk of the professionals. My son and I both have bp & ADHD dx's. My advice to you is to put relationship and communication with him as top priority. I dont agree with tough love at this age and on a kid with emotional/mood probs. the real world is mean enough, youre love and relationship are what will get you and him through this nightmare time. I would try to get him to go to therapy in exchange for trying this med-free that he wants to try. Use it as leverage, imo trusted skilled therapist is golden. Trileptal does / can make you very sleepy. I would say to have the therapist help talk to him about the adderall, and a plan with if he can be responsible with it or should have you hold onto it. I think you may want to talk to him about his privacy, he probably feels really violated. Just let him know you felt it's what you had to do, just that you love him more than anything and want to keep him safe, it's ok to say you're sorry.

It's a hard line to know how honest to be about our personal struggles with our teens. I think the line is that maybe best to share some of what you know cuz you've been there, but to try to have the kid doing more of the talking. Show interest in whatever they talk about, remind him please don't be rude or that's really not ok if he's nasty or calling names. Try to make a plan with him of how you together can avoid future police involvement. Be clear, not personally judging of him (they are so sensitive and easily offended) but the reasons why you can't allow the foul language, violence or destruction of the house, because it is plain not safe for him and you and his sister, and it's illegal. You're trying to steer him straight so that he can have a good life because that's how much you love him.

I have had police at our house way too many times and he's had at least 10 hospitalizations, I only recently have been able to have knives in the kitchen again, and grateful I can actually cut carrots apples etc. I know the hell you're in right now and so sorry you're there please look into therapy or more therapy or different therapist, this is what has helped us more than any pdoc, police and meds. Keep talking here, lean on the team here, they helped me through, still helping me, and we will help you too. It's so hard to not fall into hopeless darkness depression so please keep some hope, you will find the right solution, there are always solutions just sometimes so hard to find. We are here for you

I hope it's not too much advice, just hits very close to my situation I feel so bad what you're struggling through and how alone it feels, hang in there