Am I the only one thinking "Silly, Rabbi. Trix are for kids!", like the slogan for the cereal?

Whether H gets help or not, the important thing is that marriage is not the life sentence it used to be. Just guessing, but it sounds like if he had behaved the way he is behaving now when you first met, that you would not have married him. He was not honest about the kind of person he really is, and it sounds like he is not keeping his marriage vows to the effect of loving, honoring, cherishing, and respecting in both good times and bad. It sounds like he is actually directly responsible for quite a lot of the bad times. Lots of women think they they will take on a man with the purpose of fixing him up, like restoring a car or putting fresh paint on a house. Men go into the relationship expecting to stay the same. It happens often enough to be the subject of jokes and stories. It doesn't work and results in frustration for all concerned. And to borrow / paraphrase from Buddha - to throw in another religion - it is better to be alone than to endure someone so stupid and thoughtless.

Also, am I the only one who is thinking that the Rabbi and Pastor are both men? That maybe there are religious leaders out there who are women, too, and that they might be able to give you a unique perspective? At minimum, that they might not have a bias in favor of poor H who is about to be left by his W?