Hi everyone.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 and a half years. His mother suffers badly with depression due to having a bad relationship with her husband.

I was very sympathetic of this at the start of our relationship, and tried many times to sit and talk to her and try to help.
However it has never worked, she keeps taking her husband back but does not forgive him and they have a terrible relationship.. if that is what you can call it.

It has gotten to the point where she is severly depressed and is an alcoholic. When she is alone she drinks excessive amounts and causes a lot of trouble arguing with her husband or family members.

This is putting a huge strain on my relationship. I am 20 and he is 22, and still lives with his mother. He feels responsible for his mother and does not like to leave her alone at night. I understand him not wanting to leave his mother, and so on occasions I would stop with him, so I can see him.

However the last few times I have stayed we have been up all night. His mother has been wailing and screaming all night, on the phone to various people. She is extremely drunk. My boyfriend has to hide keys and antibiotics from her and stays up all night to ensure she does not do anything stupid.
She will also talk to me about everything, something I feel very uncomfortable with. She will talk for hours and I cannot get away.
This has led to me not wanting to go round and stop. I am currently in my final year of University and really do not need the extra stress.

The worst bit is she will not have any help. We have tried the doctor and mental health teams but she will not answer their calls or go to appointments.

I do not know what to do anymore. It is starting to make me unhappy in the relationship however it is not his fault. I have tried talking to my boyfriend about how uncomfortable I feel and he understands, but it just means I dont get to see him. I understand how hard this must be for him and I dont want to make it any harder, but while she wont accept help I just cant see a solution and it really is making me unhappy.

Sorry if any of this sounds selfish, I just dont know what to do.
Could any of you give me any advice about how to talk to my boyfriend, whether I should stay in the relationship or anything I can do to help his mother.

Thank You and If you've read all that, thank you again!!!