Hello there, and welcome to the board..

Sorry to read about this horrible situation. I don't think you sound selfish for being weary, in fact kudos to you for sticking by for so long at such a young age. That couldn't have been easy.

Am afraid that it may just be a tough choice for you. To stay with your fella with his mum the way she is, or to leave him and get on with your own life. I know it sounds dreadful, but your boyfriend has chosen his mum over his own life, so he's made his decision. I don't mean that to be negative, it's again, very good of him, but that's his choice, not yours even though it affects you both. Oh, and why does her husband keep coming back to this relationship too? Surely he knows this is just not right too.

You're right, if she will not seek any help, then there is little you can do. I don't think a doctor would be able to do anything without her agreeing to anything, and if she is not in danger nobody would step in. She's in a vicious circle and without help, professional help, then she will not be able to get out of it. I think that there will be little you can do - she needs trained specialists and I think some meds/therapy to help with the depression. Its so very sad.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Please remember tho, her actions are ruining many lives, and its up to you if you let her ruin yours too.