Quote:
Originally Posted by daffy715
Hamster, I really appreciate your reply. I think you're right and he his having trouble communicating to me what exactly is going on. Otherwise, I feel like he would just dump me instead of telling me he is sorry and that his distance is not because of me. He has told me that he needs to tell me something about himself but he's afraid that I will run away if I know. My intuition is telling me that his big secret is that he's battling bipolar disorder or some other illness.
|
I can tell you how he opened up to me, regarding the depression.
I told my date that I am bipolar, my friends, how cool! - Forums at Psych Central
So I
started... and he apparently felt
safe to open up.
I wonder if your guy will feel safer if you start - since you are on this site, you yourself might be battling a mental illness. I do not know - just guessing, since most people on here have a thing or two.
Quote:
Originally Posted by daffy715
I'm glad your guy is able to tell you what he needs at this time. Do you just leave him alone and wait for him or do you try to reach out to him? Thanks again!
|
No, I do not reach out to him. I do not reach out to him for two independent reasons:
1) He has a p-doc, a weekly T, a woman whom he calls his "secondary relationship" (he identifies as polyamorous, which does not translate into a whole lot of "poly" in his particular case, number-wise, but he does see a woman whom he has known for a number of years - not frequently though, because she is married and lives within a 1.5 hr drive from him), a set of long term guy friends, fellow hobbyists with whom he meets, regularly, in his apartment to engage in their hobby and talk, a job, a cat, an older woman who gives him weekly foreign language lessons ... and I think this is it, but that is ENOUGH - he is
not living in social isolation. He acquired all of the above before meeting me, so I assume that all of the above should be his first recourse and line of defense when he feels depressed. So I do not have a sense of duty - I would not reach out to him out of a sense of duty because I do not think that it is my
duty to reach out to him.
2) I have a very complicated life with a lot of things to be done that I do not have enough time to do, nor is he the only guy around me, either. So, I do not reach out to him out of my own
desire not to be alone.