Hi! I am very sorry to hear about your problems. It seems that they have affected your entire life very much since you don't even can go and buy groceries at any time of the day. I am sorry that therapy hasn't helped you.

I can very much relate to the control-thing. When my life is out of control i pull as well. Don't know how to cope with it...

I am going through cbt-therapy at the moment (at least until summer, when i will move to a new location and have to find a new T). I believe the idea about changing your thoughts and behaviour is good, even though I really haven't made any huge progress yet . Have you tried it? Are you on any therapy or medication right now? Hugs!

Edit: also, thank you for the website! Found a lot of interesting reading.