Hi Ash. Some T's believe that some people with DID can have amnesia for their amnesia... meaning that sometimes a person just isn't aware that they lose time. Instead time might seem foggy or inconsistent, or a person may have a great deal of trouble remembering what they did that morning, or last week, or ten minutes ago or whatever. And if this is a person's 'normal' way of being they may simply not realise that other people experience time more consistently. For other people with DID time gaps are more glaringly obvious and distinct and there is a definite sense of 'lost time'.

It is quite possible that these 'spirit beings in your head' are alters that HAVE come out and spent time talking with your T without your awareness. It sounds like you do experience some dissociative symptoms, so maybe it is worth keeping an open mind and continuing to explore what's going on with your T.

For me, I always knew that something was wrong. I remember 'knowing' as a kid that if I could manage to survive 'now' then I could get myself to therapy as soon as I was able and begin to sort out the crap. So that's what I did - as soon as I could I got myself to therapy, without really any idea what was wrong, but the knowledge that something was very, very wrong. I just didn't know what it was.

Over time my alters began to trust my T and started making themselves known to her... then later she helped them make themselves known to me. When I first 'met' them it was weird... with the first two that made themselves known to me I realised that in some sense I had always known they were there, but not known who or what they were. They became my greatest friends and allies.

And yes, it did get worse before it got better. And it took a long time. There was an awful lot of crap to sort through, and sorting through crap is neither fun nor easy. So for a while it got a lot, lot worse, and then gradually it started to get a little better. Now it is way, way, way better than I could have ever imagained or hoped for, and certainly way better than it ever could have been if I had left the crap alone. SO yeah - it is hard work, but it is worth it. 'Sorting it out' can absolutely help the rest of your life be so much better.