I agree, as usual with Leed. I have personal experience with this too. I went into my marriage with blinders on I guess, but they came off pretty quick. I insisted on couples counseling, he went once, said it was a load of crap (because the counselor didn't support his destructive-to-us behavior).
When he refused to go anymore, I went ahead & got my own counselor who was a good sounding board for my observations of what I was experiencing. It turns out,I wasn't crazy like he said at all!
Wanting to get help/get a handle on it earlier than later, is a Great Idea. Good Luck to you.