Well, I have to agree that you didn't seem to make a wise decision. As far as people judging you, I can understand that concern, but it's not anything we have any control over. Maybe the man judged in a bad way, maybe not. We as humans can't control what others think, alas. I guess the main thing is to not make a habit of what you did.

I'm wondering if you are seeing a therapist and/or psychiatrist for help. I am not here to judge either, but I'm sure you already know drinking will only make your problems worse, such as shutting down your own brain judgment center about whether to react to a desire.

Your last Xanax? Can you get it refilled soon? I'm wondering if you might start having withdrawal symptoms.....

I am bipolar, so I can relate to highs and lows. And I am 58. I am ready to outgrow this problem--if only I could.