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Hi Needing hope,
I'm glad you joined here on P.C.
Basically what I feel you may need to do is find a therapist. You could go online & search for one based on what your going through.
Try to be good to yourself. If you have the means take some time out for yourself & maybe take a drive to the ocean, go to a retreat, something relaxing. Make out a step by step plan for yourself take baby steps on what you'll need to do for your recovery. Go on the internet for help. The search engine is a great tool for asking questions.
Be good to yourself.
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