Hello, I am an 18 year old male who is currently dealing with some issues. For a little background, I am still in high school and I would say I am somewhat troubled. I have started smoking a lot of weed this year, and although I didn't start using it as an escape, that is what it has ended up becoming. There are two things in my life that I am particularly insecure about. One of them is my sexuality, and this stems from me getting caught looking at gay porn by my friends while I was in Middle School. Although I do still look at gay porn occasionally, and regardless of what you may think, I do not consider myself gay and my homosexual feelings have never gone beyond an internet fantasy. Even with having this knowledge of my sexuality now, my insecurity has not gone away because I believe that my friends think that I am gay, and this bothers me. I also get extremely paranoid that my friends tell other people about what happened, and I am pretty sure that most people would not understand this and automatically label me. I am also insecure about the way I lost my virginity. I did it with a girl who had a lot of problems and who was a pathological liar, but she was still someone who I connected with on an emotional level and I had a very strong attraction to her. The relationship I had with her moved very fast, as I only knew her for a few days on a vacation, but I had never connected and opened up with person like this before. The fact that she was pretty much emo, I was 17 and she was 14, and that she apparently two timed me in the time I knew her(I believed her originally when she lied but I don't believe her anymore) have made me very insecure about this situation. My friends are also aware of this situation. Well the other night I was at a party and I saw one of my friends talking to another person that I am friendly with but not necessarily friends with, and I didn't think anything of it at first. But they happened to be talking pretty loud, and what I heard from the conversation was that they were talking about catching me watching gay porn and the one I was friendly with asking my friend if I was gay. I also heard the kid I was friendly with ask the other one if I had done anything with a girl or anything, and he said yeah something with a freshman. At first I thought alright, this stuff in my life is common knowledge and my friends have betrayed my trust. But after thinking about it, I started to believe that I may have imagined these people saying this stuff, seeing as how it happened to be the two things I am most insecure about being said about me in a small period of time. I am sorry about writing this long paragraph, but I'm starting to think that I am crazy and I need someone to help me, so any help from someone who has been through something relatively similar would be greatly appreciated.