Find a therapist my friend. It's not your fault. When I read the first line in your clues on your post about why you feel broken?
Well, my friend the sexual abuse DOES explain it, among all the other things that you mention. It makes perfect good sense to me why your in trouble.
I read most of your post. Couldn't read it all. I hate to hear about women who are abused & demeaned.
Will you find a good therapist? Then find a good support group for sexual abuse survivors.
If I were you I would exhaust all efforts to find any & all help for all the torment you went through. Because you can't go through this all alone. And stuffing it all inside will only affect your physical health i.e. heart attack, cancer the list is endless here.
No one can function well with what you've had to endure.
But you can work to change & recover.
It won't be easy but you'll have to do it.
Good luck