I have to see a specialist. I need help. I have my close friends that I can talk to, but I need answers, sometimes having someone listen is just not enough. After all of the reading I have done in the last few days, I have few issues that I need to get help with.

I have taken the tests on this site, also on other sites and they all say very similar things. I am depressed, with borderline BPD and moderate BPD, OCD, and codependant (which I really don't like). I don't like taking medications or drugs of any kind, so this is going to be a trip lol.

Right now I don't feel anything, I'm not happy, sad, depressed, manic, nothing. It's like no emotion. I need help, it has taken me a long time to even admit it, I don't want to put it off any longer and convince myself that I will be fine. I won't, I know I won't. There are dark thoughts, and they scare me.