I've never told my pdoc that I have something to tell him, mainly because there were some circumstances where I think he would have immediately known what it was. He encouraged me to join a dating site a year ago and about a month or so after I joined, he joined too, and showed up as one of my "matches". Even though I had the crush before that, this really intensified it as I now knew some personal details about him. Its been a little over a year and he is still active but I am more recently not as I reunited with my husband after a separation. So it feels awkward to bring it up now. But, it felt REALLY awkward when this first happened as I really didn't know how to approach him about it. I never told my female T until now either because I felt it wasn't right to tell his co-worker about the dating site thing, since she didn't know. But, as you know, when these feelings are bottled up and you keep thinking about them, it becomes something that is blown way out of proportion, and needs to be talked about to keep the feelings in check.

If you mentioned to your T that you had something to tell her but didn't know if you should, then she may have a clue as to what it is. Even though you may interpret some of her behavior a certain way, as I do with my pdoc, we both know that they are human and have good and bad days like everyone else. If its a late appointment, they could be tired. She may have had some trying sessions with other clients, in a bad mood, might not feel well, or anything. But I totally am on the same page as to how you can always twist their behavior to being directly related to you. It's almost like a cruel form of self punishment. And really, why would this information bother your T (or my doctor) so much? I think one thing we can be sure of is that both your T and my doc have dealt with this in their career before in some way and won't see it in such a dramatic way. It is nice to have someone going through the same thing, I always feel so alone in this and just want the intensity to go away, without losing my doctor. But we have to remember, this is their job, and it's your T's job to guide you through these feelings and help you put them to constructive use. And I'm sure she'll be glad you told her.