There are a whole lot of support groups that meet in So Ca for PTSD & that could be a great resource for you! I used to live in So Ca myself, so I know how enormous it is, otherwise I would put up a link for you to try.

Do you have a car, or do you use public transportation? Are you in a metro, beach or desert area? Perhaps you'd feel comfortable naming the county you're in for more specific possibilities in your area??

Sorry that you're kicking yourself ~ I've done that to myself too many times. I have PTSD as well, so I can relate to certain aspects of how you're feeling. It's difficult for me to describe, especially since I suffer from several other disorders. I do have a tendency to dissociate in times of stress, and watch myself from a distance talk to others, do chores, etc. Pretty weird and uncomfortable! While I'm aware that I'm showering, my body feels a long ways away as I wash and I don't really feel the sensations of the water or soap washing my body.

Just a little example of a simple dissociative experience I have, for you. Very best wishes to you & congratulations on getting married. Try to hold onto the hope and happiness that you had just a few months ago!