I dont know how I should feel about these replies. On the one hand, knowing that people understand this or feel similarly makes me feel a little less alone. But on the other hand, it makes me feel like I want to give each of you a hug, because I hate these feelings and it's a horrid place to be.

I suppose I like my acting, my artwork and my writing, so I do try to do those to take the edge off things, but my issue with that is that I'm not very good at them. So I dont know how much longer I can keep doing them while they dissappoint my friends, my family and myself by "wasting [my] time on pointless things" that always turn out badly.