Thread: Intimacy
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Old Apr 08, 2013, 05:50 AM
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Lauliza Lauliza is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iota View Post
I can understand why it must be hard to sort out. At a time when I was feeling strong feelings toward my therapist, I thought they were also being entertained by him. He had mentioned his own relationship with his analyst, which was eroticized even though they both didn't act on it, but they discussed it. I had reasons to believe he felt something for me, but in the end I myself realized that I was eroticizing intimacy when what I wanted was real intimacy not an erotic connection of any sort, fantasy or otherwise. When it dawned on me that that intimacy was much more important and meaningful than anything else I thought I wanted, I relaxed and the feelings went away. It was actually distracting me from forming a deeper bond I think. At least that is how it turned out.
Agreed...The romantic feelings/fantasy regarding the therapist does keep you from forming a deeper bond. If you can handle it on your own that's great, but I think working it with your therapist is necessary, though in your particular case maybe not if the T gave off different vibes. It must be hard on the T's end if they think they're having feelings. Giving signals that they may be attracted no matter how subtle isn't conducive to good therapy. It is the T's job to deflate the fantasy by discussing the reality in a sensitive, kind way. But it seems like its so complicated for both client and T since it's not always a natural way to deal with these feelings.