So I woke up this morning, feeling nothing. Made the decision to tell me closest friend what I think might be wrong with, and almost immediately my mood switched to crying, hurt, lost, afraid, denial, and a load of other feelings I can't even name. I got told last night I have always been a moody person, could I have always have been bipolar and just not realized because I don't like to tell people how I feel. When anyone asks, unless I really need to talk about it, which isn't often I just say fine. My friend is bipolar, what if she tells me that she can't see me because of the contents of my head. When something doesn't go right or the reply to a question or text isn't what it should be, my mind just goes into overdrive. How can I tell that the thoughts that are in my head aren't real?
Right now I have to go to work, which isn't going well because of my constant mood swings. Today's task, other than work, is to find a primary care doctor that I can discuss things with. One task. Oh, and tell my friend that I think I may be suffering from depression, bipolar, borderline, and codependency. What could go wrong?
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