Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellion
I wouldn't even know what change to make, the changes I would need to make to solve the problem aren't things I have control over really. I've been hurt more by people than helped by them so I'm likely not going to just put myself out there to meet more people...income might help, so I am trying to get on SSI though i might start looking for work in case that doesn't work not that i think I'd get hired or be there long before getting fired but if I can't get on SSI i don't have much choice other than hoping i can earn enough to get by somewhat and not end up in the psych ward if the stress gets to be too much.
Nothing is ever simple and I just wish logic could over-rule emotions in these instances. It actually feels more like i am slipping than moving in any positive forward direction. If there were viable solutions then perhaps I would be but i can't think of any.
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*hugs* Sorry you're going through this.
You don't need to completely turn your life upside down to make a positive change though. Small changes can really make a huge impact in one's quality of life, IMO.
I think asking your loved ones for help might be a good place to start. You seem to have a good relationship with your siblings. Don't you think one or both of them would be receptive to helping you?
For example, if you could go out once per month with a safe person (brother or sister, or someone else), would that make you feel better? Is a few hours per month too much to ask from someone who cares about you?
I don't go out much because I have a toddler. Most of my friend live out of town, too. Every once in a while, though, people will come to visit me from out of town. They will drive several hours to get here. I think that's pretty great.
In the past I would not ask them because I thought that it would be too much of an imposition and that they were too far away. Later I was feeling miserable and became desperate and decided to ask anyway. I was pleasantly surprised to see how simply asking for what I needed could succeed.
I can understand not wanting to put yourself out there and risk getting hurt. However, I think that there come a time when one causes more pain to one's self by NOT being open. That's what has been happening with me, in any case. I have a really hard time trusting people and am very sensitive. I've been betrayed more times than I care to recall. I have been used and taken advantage of by others. Those are the negatives.
On the other side of the coin, every positive thing that has ever happened in my life and nearly every achievement that I've ever made would not have been possible without the help of other people. I feel very lucky to be able to live the life that I do, even if I still feel like a paranoid basket case who nobody loves sometimes.
