Hellion, are you an artistic person by chance? Is there any way you could take some kind of art class? You need to have some kind of outlet for yourself.

For example, I took an art course in toll painting, it was sooo much fun and I really learned alot. It gave me such a lift too. Sometimes they offer this kind of class at art suppy stores. The one I took was out of a woman's home in my town, it was a small group and we were all so busy with our projects and learning that it was relaxing too.

Just a suggestion Hellion, but LovelaceF is right, doing small things can add so much quality, its' really amazing.