She has done things to me that I didn't know could happen to a person. Before I met her, I was less. It's hard to explain, I can see a change within me, feel the change within me. She was the first person I was able to be myself with, that I was able to open up to. I found myself talking to her about things that I was never able to bring up to anyone. I found myself telling her things that I could not thought about in years, and I found myself finding things out about her she had not told anyone. When we talked, there was no limit to what was spoken, there was never any judgement about what was said, there was just openness and friends.

When I am with her, I feel different. I feel less on edge, less unsure about some things, more confident in others, but unworthy of her love. I don't say that in a bad way. She is strong, independent, smart, and also suffers from BPD. Me, I am normal. I don't feel special in anyway. But is that me or just the thoughts in my head?

I know I am a better person with her friendship and love. If I ask, I feel like I am putting pressure on her. I don't want to put pressure on her, she has had a lot happen to her and a lot going on in her life, adding stress to it isn't a good thing. Maybe this could be something that I can bring up when we talk.