In what way has it affected your patients?

Have your supervisors ever said anything?

How will you explain your absence (you have stayed in the sober house for awhile)? FMLA?

Your post is inconsistent - you say that you have stabilized and at the same time that you want to be stabilized. That probably means that you are not yet stabilized.

I think it is important for you to count the ways your patients have been affected, for real, and the ways in which your coworkers or supervisors have noticed, and separate those from the fears that are entirely in your head.