Just my thought on losing depression and thinking ot would make you lose who you are or make those around you love you less. No, if anything you would be inviting more love into your life because you would finally have learned that depression is not "who" you are, but something you are being. But if that's where you want to be that's where you'll be. Don't get me wrong, I can look back and see myself making that list. But you can get better. Being in misery becomes comfortable. Change is hard.