Ultramar,

Again, thank you for the response. I spent awhile on the phone with my sister, discussing how I've changed over the years and she did some reading about BP and BPD and she feels BPD pretty much sums me up. However, I have already started the antidepressant over a month ago and the lamictal about 10 days ago so I will continue the treatment my pdoc gave me until I see her again. She only spends 15 minutes with me and, oddly, has not asked me about my past or anything.... I see a counselor at another location and she is more like, "don't worry about a diagnosis" and I don't know why she thinks that. All I know is the medications keep me up all night, tossing and turning, give me stomach issues and headaches. If I do have BPD I would much rather do therapy and stop the meds. I hate taking medications. I really appreciate everyone's help, advice, and experiences and I will let you all know what I found out so that everyone learns a little something with me. I have studied psychology as my major for years, but this is a completely new experience. I never truly understood what it is like for others to actually live these disorders. I commend everyone for what they have dealt with and continue to deal with so gracefully. What an awesome place to come and talk with others. God bless!