Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelaceF
There are plenty of lawmakers who would prefer to see that trend reversed, though, I can assure you. This is because homosexual relationships, even though legal in most cases, still contradict people's values.
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I thought that people dislike homosexual relationships out of homophobia, which is a special case of xenophobia ("xeno" meaning, in this context, anything "other than" and not necessarily physically from another country), and xenophobia is extremely common and indeed leads Christian people to prefer that their daughters date Christian boyfriends and not Jewish boyfriends, and vice versa, and also leads Hindi people to prefer that their daughters not marry Muslims, and vice versa, and that problem, indeed, is as old as the sun, but especially common these days due to all the demographic mash-ups we have had recently, but it has nothing to do with values. The talk of "values" is a way to distance oneself from the underlying xenophobia because there is some positive connotation to "values" and no positive connotation to "xenophobia".
Clearly, a person who says that homosexual relationships between other people contradict their values would look better this way, at least to some, than if they just bluntly say that the thought of a homosexual relationship is unpleasant to them... even physically unpleasant... but I prefer to deal with people who are honest, and I know folks who just do not want to even picture the reality of homosexual relationships in their minds because they are disgusted, and as long as we do not build policy based on their disgust, I am fine listening to them without silencing them in any way - I find their honesty far more endearing and appealing than the invocation of "values".
Back to OP - the parents might want their daughter to date a boyfriend who would be sexually exclusive with her, and, believing that past performance predicts future results, dislike this particular guy for this particular reason. This would not be irrational, nor would it be xenophobic.
Do OP's parents have a right to opine on OP's selection criteria, or does OP need to be left alone to decide how she would fill the bf's position has been covered exhaustively in
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leed
You don't say how old YOU are, but I assume you are an adult, correct? And since you are an adult, they have NO RIGHT to interfere with who you are dating or having a relationship with.
The only problem is that you're still living with them. They feel THAT gives them the right to interfere. They feel that since you're living under their roof, they can set the rules and tell you what to do. Why don't you move in with your boyfriend? Why are you still living with your parents instead of your boyfriend? Wouldn't it be better if the two of you lived together, or don't you think it would work out? If you don't think it would work out, then what's the point?
If you're working, why not try to get a place of your own? I think it's time you got your own place anyway, depending of course on your age! If you continue to live with your parents, you're going to continue to have these fights, probably regardless of what man you bring home. I doubt anyone will be good enough. 
Best of luck and take care. I hope things work out. God bless. Hugs, Lee |
It seems to me that some sort of compromise can be achieved if OP's parents point out to her why they dislike the guy, and how they think she should go about selecting candidates to fill the bf's position, but after they have said what they wanted to say, they should back off.