...have to love this kinda' thing!...the ultimate expression of naive!

...and mania is real...there is no denying that! hit's me so suddenly too...
like a bolt of lightening to my overexposed head

I went on about 'yoyos' recently...and how at the lowest point it gets... on it's way down to the limit of it's string...
the change in direction is instant!
suddenly it's on it's way back up and any evidence of falling is immediately erased!

...so this is what happens and Sunday was a very weird day as months of depressing descent suddenly reversed itself. Talk about a chemical imbalance or some crazy else unexplainable reasoning behind this illness?

...and the belief I was better was so spectacular. like 'better' forever!...so I exercised...I hypersensitized with music and drank a shitload....again!...didn't sleep a wink ...rang up about 50 people...made a total fool out of myself....like life had given birth to a full grown adult for the first time.

...and all thats happened is that I have just totally freaked myself out again!...but even moreso....again!...

so a day after this imaginary 'cure' took place I was moments away from going back to hospital....and somehow resisted

...so damn naive like it's never happened before it happens time after time and can anybody blame a cripple who can suddenly use his legs again from ....running around like a madman?

forgot what the hell point I was making ...
I guess I just wish that feeling better didn't always make me feel worse again