I am so sorry for you x
It is heartbreaking to lose a soulmate and to go through all the stages of grief alone
I know it doesn't seem like this now but these feelings will get easier in time when you begin to feel better yourself! I know life has been hard for you in the past, there is also the future to come.
Can you see your future? I know when we have depression it's hard to see past today never mind tomorrow.
Are you still seeing your therapist? I hope you can tell them exactly what you have posted so that they can begin to help you feel better.
Best of luck and I hope you can allow love back into your life soon