Thank you to all that replied. Means a lot. Yep Adam I think couples counselling may be on the cards if we decide to give things a proper shot. It is very unhealthy at moment and not a proper relationship,if you know what I mean? Don't think we even like each other if I'm honest, but how could I cope without him? Does that mean I am using him? I guess it does. We over 16yrs together.

sabra thank you. Yes I have been in therapy, lots of! I didn't put it in post there because I had been on about it before and there bit in my bio about it too. Think I will delete that bio…too long. I guess if I want to live I will need to do something, so maybe try a different therapy could be a possibility.

It's just so difficult to know where to post when so many disorders/mental health issues.

Thanks again, really appreciate it and I am thinking of you all.

. Pierro hun I feel for you, I can't look after myself, how do you manage with children, it must be so hard. The sad part is and I didn't mention this but I love children but because of meds and my inability to cope well, I have put it off. Have tried to taper, partner…he wants children so badly. Is it too late for me? It has been something I have wanted but meds meant it was impossible. I would have to taper off completely. Hasn't worked in the past. I am 37…