Dear Tanya Grave...........
I would have a wish to help, but there is the world between us.....so I will only have words to offer..........

I am moved to write to you because of 'your' words....."I give up."....I have felt this way so many times.......

There is a card I keep by my chair.....it is a sympathy card for a death......but I keep it where I can see it.......the words inscribed inside......are a chant for me.........

Endure....and wait for days of happiness........

It is that word.....endure.......I have lived the meaning of endure........I wonder that my mind has not snapped and sent me drooling into oblivian.......which so often, would seemingly, be the most humane thing that could happen.......I have longed for it........but it doesn't happen.....

I endure........instead.......

Days of happiness do come.....maybe only in short spurts, but happiness can be found.......

What is happening......talking will make you feel better.......

When I get too crazed I plant flowers.......because there is Beauty in them......no matter what my mind and body are enduring..........there is a killer of pain in the Beauty of flowers......their scents often transcend beyond my reality....taking me, for moments, to other places.......where I am free.........

I hope you can find some flowers in your day.......know that I am sending you deep breaths........and calming prayers for your mind and body..........

Blessings to you........
Hummer