it has been a long time since I posted on this site, but I just did not feel like i needed it, well lately I feel like I need something and cant find what it is.

I thought i had made some new freinds online and now they are all turning away from me like all the ones in my real life.

Just because I am sad, does not mean I am not good to be around?? I feel so lost, some say it is post partum deperssion, but I just do not know, I try my hardest to feel better but I cant, I catn stop thinking of the things I am doing wrong, not being a good mom, a good wife any of that..

I just do nto know what to do anymore. I try to keep my sid of the house clean and I fail at it . I fail at taking care of my kids, I push them off on someoen esel when ever I can becuse I do not have the engery to do anything anymore.. Today is one of those days where I just want to die or crul up in a hole and trow dirt in on top of myself..

I do not want to live anymore