I don't know how and when I will recover from my mother's death.

Right now I am trying to take care of my daughter and my husband is trying to take care of me. My daughter is the easier job. I must remember to not take all my feelings out on my husband. He really stood up for me in the tragedy that ended with my mother dying less than one week after her diagnosis with cancer.

As to what happened, I am snappy, bewildered, angry, sad, indignant and all kinds of other what might be thought of as negative emotions.

I am quite anxious that I will have a bout of seasonal affective disorder again this winter, as I have had it the past 3 winters.
Right now the only expectation that has been borne out by the antidepressant I take is that it has kept me from being suicidal. I did feel normal for a short time after I began taking it, for a couple of months, but then it stopped working or some kind of tolerance developed and like I said at this point I will settle for it keeping me from being suicidal.

The focalinxr I most recently started taking has been giving me the "normal" moods and functioning that I did not previously have. I hope tolerance won't develop.
I still haven't made any final decisions about seeking justice against those who discriminated against my mother because of her age and disability, but that does not have to be decided right away. Although I am wondering if it is something I need to do right away so that I may then be able to mourn for my mother and what we both lost.
Thanks for being here.

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