Another self-induced failure and didn't make it to my session, again.

Oh well, at least I didn't just blow off my therapist - called an hour before my appointment time.

The ****** thing is ('scuse the language), I sabotaged what I really wanted and needed, and I know it. What's worse is I keep believing I can pull the wool over my own eyes! Why do I continually think I am so sneaky and manipulative enough that I can truly, truly fool myself? C'mon, what's wrong with me?

Logic makes me see what I'm doing, but emotions make me do it anyway! I'm sooo screwed if I don't get a handle on this!

At least I am getting another chance! That's one thing about DBT - they do not give up so easily, no matter how much you try to convince them otherwise. (Freaky in a way, as most programs seem to be glad to be rid of borderlines because of the high stress of treating (some of) us).

Anyway,

for the histrionics.

AS