Quote:
Originally Posted by Starry_Night
My old t never apologized even when she did something wrong.it was like she thout she could do no wrong, and i resented her for it.i always felt likei was beneath her.
Nw t apologizes.i appreciate her a lot more because she owns up to her feelings and the things she says/ does wrong. This t and i are equals.
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OLd T = very bad T. I don't see what is so hard about apologising and owning our stuff. They teach us about it all the time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyrabbit
I would have more of an issue with her criticism and invalidation of your feelings. She should be trying to see the situation from your point of view, as you experienced it. It's your experience. Telling you it's wrong doesn't magically change how you feel.
My T does sometimes apologise but I seem to actually find it pretty meaningless. What matters to me is when he acknowledges what I have experienced and reacts to it, eg "it makes me feel really upset to hear that".
I don't think it's very good that she emailed you like that. I would go for another session and talk to her about all this. It's not about being "wrong" but about how you each experienced the situation.
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Exactly TR,
Just becuase she said its wrong doesn't mean it was wrong and my feelings will just evaporate into thin air. I hate the way She also put (EX) therapist like that arghhhhhhh.
I am glad that your t can at least relate to your feelings and have a little empathy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by just_some_girl
I think sometimes it's a foible of being human - not wanting to look at and own your own stuff or admit you were wrong. Sometimes it is misunderstanding on one or both sides. I also think some things are easier to apologise and take responsibility for than others - whether consciously or subconsciously.. and then it maybe also depends on how the other party is handling what has happened, how they react, and how that is interpreted... Very complicated, this therapy lark.
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It is very complicated JSG, sometimes it fries my brains. I think you are right though it depends mostly on both parties and how they handle situations
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antimatter
I find it hard to believe that she said you were perceiving the whole thing wrong?? Your perceptions are your own, and from what I heard you saying, she failed to show for your appointment.
I don't think one can pinpoint why some therapists do and some don't, and all people in general. To me, it would have been a common courtesy to apologize for not being there, and it would have been therapeutical had she validated your feelings. ((((Button))))))
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Anti
It would have been therapuetic for me because I felt so alone and rejected and she would have known that. FOr any patient it could have been traumatic.
PS. I hope you are doing better tonight
