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Apr 09, 2013, 07:27 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
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Quote:
Originally Posted by passionskyy
For me sometimes like when I'm grocery shopping I think everybody knows I'm bp. Sometimes I think my family wants me institutionalized. One of my sister's in particular. My other sister's tell me it's not true but she's the one that is the first to say you need to go to the hospital...She has no clue what its like in this particular clinic I'll call it.
The actual hospital isn't that bad but they only put you in there if your suicidal or homicidal. The other place is like a warehouse she would never send her kids there but me she's fine with. It's like let's lock her up and heavily medicate her so she's quiet and conforms. My other sister's say she doesn't want that for me but she's always saying maybe you need to be on more meds. Yeah so I can be like you a cold, lack of compassion mass of ice.
Sorry rant...
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It sounds like you're anxious/worried about what others think about you and it seems specific to mental illness (others thinking you have BP, others wanting you hospitalized). If you're in therapy, maybe your therapist can help you get to the bottom of it. Maybe also if you remind yourself that you can't know what others are thinking (sounds silly really, and probably easier said than done, but again, I think a therapist might be able to help you). It must be awful thinking that others are thinking such things. I hope you can find ways to feel better!
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