
Apr 09, 2013, 08:33 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
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Quote:
Originally Posted by button30
I have noticed this subject popping up a bit on threads lately and I suppose my own rupture with my new t has got me thinking.
Do you find that therapists think they are too clever and don't have to apologise? Or they don't see us as equals and therefore they don't owe us an apology or is it the fact that they can't admit they were wrong and feel the need to blame their patients for everything.
As most of you know already, my new t whom I have seen for 4 or 5 sessions didn't show up for two of those sessions and one other was extremely late. When I text her to see if she was coming or forgot she rang but I was already in car on way home so she left a voicemail saying she didn't have my name in her diary and apologised, told me to contact her for another appt. She seemed more worried about rescheduling. So that evening I sent her an email saying I would not be going to see her anymore because I felt abandoned and rejected and didn't want to get hurt anymore. Next day she sent a snooty email saying I was choosing to hurt myself- she hadn't forgotten about me and that it was my fault because I was percieving the whole situation entirely wrong. I was disgusted by her lack of remorse and lack of feelings for a client who was hurting and suffered many losses and rejection.
So, I have been thinking about this a lot and have mixed feelings baout the whole thing and about therapists who can't admit they were wrong.
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I think therapists should own their mistakes, and also should acknowledge when something they have done (or not done) has hurt the client. On the other hand, I don't think therapists need to (or maybe should) own or take responsibility for a client's response/reaction to them. This is what needs to be discussed and worked out face to face in therapy (or not, if you choose to not come back). One thing is feeling empathy for someone who is hurting and who has a history of losses and rejection, quite another is to feel remorse (or guilty) for this.
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